Wean Me Gently

It has been more than a year since I last wrote a blog post. Life has been busy as a working mom. I decided to change directions with this post a little bit.

My boy has been weaning much more as of late. It's bittersweet as I have loved, nurtured and nourished him for a little over 24 months now. I developed the philosophy in our breastfeeding relationship that I would promote him to self-wean, meaning when he felt he was ready to stop then he could make the decision when the time was right for him.

There were moments (especially when he would nurse for literally hours and hours at a time....and I promise you this is no exaggeration) when I could not imagine him ever wanting to stop. I now regret the moments when I may have rushed him through a feeding or when I encouraged him with another activity so that I could carry on with something else or when I winced in pain as my new pregnancy caused my breasts to be so tender and swollen. Each and every moment of breastfeeding I have shared with my boy has been so special. Breastfeeding is a bond so special and rare that it cannot be mimicked by anyone or anything. Such a unique experience...one for which I am eternally grateful to share with my son.

Now when my precious son nurses I cannot help but wonder if it will be the last time. My eyes well with tears as I have watched him suckle from the moment he was born straight through into toddlerhood. The changes we have gone through together through this shared, common experience has been life-changing. I can well imagine what it will be like one day to stare upon my son as a grown man and remember fondly our sweet, nourishing embraces and know that I had something to do with creating the strong man he will become.

I came across a poem that perfectly captures my bittersweet feelings of this waning relationship:

Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall

I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.

....sigh.....Isn't that a great poem? I've cried every time I have read it. With Baby #2 due in 20 more weeks I am grateful that I will get to develop and nurture a brand new breastfeeding relationship.

But I'm still a little sad about my breastfeeding relationship with Baby #1 that will soon come to a close.